The Right Time, and The Right Place

I am a strange movie lover. Until an hour ago, I had a dirty little secret that I'd never shared with anyone.

I had never seen any of the six Star Wars movies

It's not like I never tried. I watched a few minutes of The Phantom Menace but Jar Jar Blinks really grated my nerves. That or I got distracted by my cat, can't remember. Now, having watched Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, I can't for the life of my figure out what gives this movie any redeeming quality. The kind that spawned a multi-billion dollar franchise industry, rabid fandom, religiously frantic conventions and the whole nine yards. Sure, sequence like the Trench Run are spectacular by 1977 standards - but the whole movie is boring, the fight sequences are lame and the light-saber-duel with Darth Vader and Obi-Wan-Kenobi is gay. Gay. Gay.

This reminds me of a heated argument I once had in an internet forum. Some guys were going on and on about The Beatles being bigger than Jesus, the greatest music ever etc. I merely pondered, "They are good but what makes them the greatest ever?" and as you can imagine, I was crucified for saying that. You see, a person born in 1955 feels as strongly about The Beatles as a person born in 1980 feels about Pearl Jam and Metallica.

If you were born in 1960, Star Wars is the greatest sci-fi movie ever. If you were born in 1970, it is probably Back to the Future. For someone like me from 1985, tell me, What is the Matrix?

This brings to my relatively short attention-span an important fact: timing is crucial. They say never wait for someone or keep anyone waiting. Time commands and deserves maximum respect - don't ever shortchange that respect. So why the hell is George Lucas hell bent on re-re-re-re-releasing a new edition of the whole saga every time a new home video format comes out? There's supposedly a new Ultra 1337 Blu-Ray Collector's Edition coming out. Oo, wowie. All the 70s folks who saw it multiple times in theatres, bought it on VHS, then on Laserdisc, then the theatrical Special Edition release, then the DVD, and then the Collector's DVD can watch it and treasure another edition all over again.

Star Wars sucks. Princess Leia wasn't even that hot. Now where's my blue pill that helps me forget the fact that Star Wars maniacs wet themselves silly with glee over every new Star Wars re-cut re-release George Lucas puts out?